Even though I was introduced to and devoured the Sweet Valley High series when I was around 10 years old, I never want my daughters to read this total drivel. At any age. There are just so many appalling messages. Appalling. I ought to pull out my eyes and stomp on them as punishment for re-reading them, but it's like this - the books are so bad, they are good. I may or may not be trying to track down the copies that I don't have to rebuild my collection. What is wrong with me?
To a pre-teen, the 16-year old Wakefield twins, with their all-American good looks and Size 6 figures (as we are relentlessly told), were so glamorous. The stories were compelling and the characters' lives so full of drama, I couldn't wait to start high school and have my life play out like the exciting characters at eternally-sunny Sweet Valley, a place so far-removed from my own drab existence. It's only when I look back that I see how so strikingly similar their world was to my own. I mean who didn't have a tuxedo shirt and matching bow tie hanging in their wardrobe just waiting to be worn for the moment when the hottest guy in school rang to ask you out? You didn't? You're such an Enid-head.
To a pre-teen, the 16-year old Wakefield twins, with their all-American good looks and Size 6 figures (as we are relentlessly told), were so glamorous. The stories were compelling and the characters' lives so full of drama, I couldn't wait to start high school and have my life play out like the exciting characters at eternally-sunny Sweet Valley, a place so far-removed from my own drab existence. It's only when I look back that I see how so strikingly similar their world was to my own. I mean who didn't have a tuxedo shirt and matching bow tie hanging in their wardrobe just waiting to be worn for the moment when the hottest guy in school rang to ask you out? You didn't? You're such an Enid-head.
I don't think I have shared with you yet that I am a twin, although my sister and I are not identical. Minor detail best overlooked. Dazzling beauty aside, it stands to reason to think that there might be other similarities that my sister and I share with the popular and relatable Wakefield twins.
Here is some more evidence that life truly does imitate art.
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| The resemblance is uncanny. You can tell by Jess's smirk there's a hipflask or two in that denim jacket.
Even though I'm more ho-bag Jess in this photo (it was an 80's theme party, which explains why I am dressed in highly flammable pink taffeta and have a dozen beers resting on my lap), I always identified more with Elizabeth. Sensible, responsible, conservative, she wanted to be a writer. Oh. Em. Gee, Lizzie, samesies. Her boyfriend, Todd, could send her into tingly orbit with just a rub of her neck. That's a mighty impressive set of fingers on him. My boyfriend couldn't do that. He did drive a dud vehicle though. However, her unwavering loyalty to conniving and manipulative Jessica really does start to wear thin on even the most fervent Elizabeth supporter.
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| Liz-dawg even has a matching lavaliere. |
Just one more, 'mkay?
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| No words. Just enjoy my sister with her togs on backwards. |
Yes, it takes some work to overlook the incredibly bad writing and completely unrealistic story lines but the covers are just pure gold. As a side note, this would have to be my most favourite-est cover of them all:
Hysterical. Who would even go near someone as creepy as Scott Daniels? Total mass-murderer eyes. I would have to wash my hands just handling the book. Note to any "college" guys reading this: A mustache does not make you look older. It makes you look seven kinds of ridiculous.
Did you read this series? What was your favourite book? Please no spoilers, I still don't know if Elizabeth and Todd lasted the distance and want to find out. I am truly pathetic.
oh my god, this is hilarious. I LOVED the Sweet Valley High books and had shelves heaving with them when I was growing up. I begged my parents to let me do a school exchange in America because I was so obsessed with the series. I never went.............alas. I will keep an eye out for copies in the op shop and send them your way. xo
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny Leanne!! I remember these books, but I never read them as I wasn't allowed to by my parents! Not sure now if that was a good or bad thing!! So funny that they have got you hooked back in. Hope that you have fun tracking down the missing books and finding out what happened!! xx
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, you had me rolling with this one. I totally read SVH – and The Babysitter's Club! – but plan to avoid re-reading them at all costs. Why ruin a perfect memory? Of course, I was at my daughter's school book fair last month and what did I see, original Babysitter's Club books! Theeeeeeeyyyyyy'rrrrreee baaaaaaaaaack!
ReplyDeleteI love the covers, by the way, on those SVH books. Of course, the "girls" look more like they're 25 than 16. And that guy? Holy cow! Yeah, he's definitely serial killer material. Hahahaha!
Funny- I read all of these too and remember saving my allowance to spend it all on books. Did you see that there is a grown-up sequel/follow up book? http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Valley-Confidential-Years-Later/dp/B007SRX9C4 I haven't read them though.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I loved those books too and I totally agree with the feeling awful that you actually ever read them and appalled at the messages they send to your own daughters. But it is a bit of a lesson in book censure isn't it? We read this drivel and I read flowers in the attic and Clan of the Cave Bear at 11 or 12 and I turned out OK. So maybe we should all just chill a bit!?
ReplyDeleteLove the cover/photo matches - I bet Suzanne is loving those!
Ha ha ha you have just made my morning with this post! I was the biggest fan ever and I had heaps of the books and devoured them as if they were the best thing ever. I even wrote my own versions of the stories where I was in them (totes as Elizabeth of course). Pretty sure I had at least a couple of the titles you've mentioned here. Did you ever read The Babysitters Club - I was made on that too xx
ReplyDeleteOh this brings back memories. Did you read the Sweet Dreams romance series too?
ReplyDeleteI totally read these 237 times.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I had dozens and dozens and dozens of them.... And The Sweet Dremas series too. Books seem so much cheaper than as I always seemed to e buying as a teenager but crikey you'd be broke buying 2-3-4 books for your teen ager a month now in NZ - sadly
ReplyDeleteLOL - I remember these too - they were in NZ when I was growing up. I loved these and totally agree they are terrible :-)
ReplyDeleteI read this last night before bed and laughed and laughed and laughed - absolutely cracked me up! Haven't read any of them but must do a hunt for the series I did devour! so bad it was good!
ReplyDeleteBahaha!! Your post so cracked me up! My best friend and I adored these books when we were kids.l! She even tried to convince me to call her Jessica and answer to Elizabeth at one point (we were 12...). Sadly... my books were handed on to cousins to further share the SVH love so no rereading for me. Woe. Do tell me if Todd and Elizabeth last!
ReplyDeletefreaking awesome blog post! i, too, read these at around age 12!
ReplyDeleteOh sheeesh, so OK, I'll level with you. I started a business selling friendship bracelets at my local market to feed my addiction for this pap when I was 10 or 11. I also read my parents books too - their are fans of G.G.Marquez and S. Rushdie - heavy stuff. They gave me kudos for entrepreneurship, but just couldn't understand my need for fluff. Its a girl thing.
ReplyDeleteMy (five year old!!) daughter got given an op shop copy of No.8 "First Place" - if you want it, its yours.
Also I love that your sister has her togs on backwards - that is so fashion.
LOL!!! Loved remembering about this series! I too can't believe some of the stuff in those books when I think back......and yes totally creepy eyes! bahahhaha
ReplyDeleteI haven't laughed so long for ages. "All Night Long" what a title and that mo. Oh my.
ReplyDeleteI used the sit in the school library at lunch time and read them. Stuff playing with my friends.
Thank you for putting this together. I loved it.
Side note. Scroll down to photos in last post. Like Mother like daughter.
I read these at about age 12 but went on to read Sweet Valley University, where Elizabeth gains weight, I think she broke up with Todd and I can't remember the deal with jessica but I think there was an attempted date rape! Heavy stuff, compared to sweet valley high. Anyone else remember this spin off?
ReplyDelete"Hysterical. Who would even go near someone as creepy as Scott Daniels? Total mass-murderer eyes. I would have to wash my hands just handling the book." Yikes - yes there is a guy at the coffee shop with a porn star moustache like that - so creepy. Did not know about this series growing up in Small Town New Zealand, must not have been at the local library otherwise i would have totes def read it. I read all manner of rubbish in those days. For years as a kid I read the Famous Five and Secret Seven who are now viewed as totally rascist and sexist and have been banned from libraries.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Yes, totally read these (desperate to be a twin!) but no spoiling coming from me as I have no idea about Elizabeth and Todd. Do keep me updated!
ReplyDeleteI used to love these books so much but, they're so entirely cringeworthy now. Do you remember Jess' friend Lila? On one of the covers she had her long haird pushed down one side....I so wanted hair like that (not that remarkable really looking back but I didn't have long hair!!). They made a TV show of it that was shown here (in the UK) a few years back. I wonder if my parents still have all my books? I had an aunt that lived in the states that would send me them as they came out and I would wait for the parcel to drop through the letterbox.Why on earth did my Mum think it was OK for me to read them? :)
ReplyDeleteVery late response, my favourite was the fat girl jogging round and round the field until she was thin, and went to the prom, and probably got a boyfriend and became popular, can't remember very well. But I think Jess was horrible to her, and guess what Elizabeth was her friend. I enjoyed the descriptions of their bedrooms and fine gold necklaces they got for their 16th birthday. Hopefully our girls will find them very old fashioned, no texting no google, they will be completely foreign.
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