Tantrums and sore shins - and a flow-chart

Look guys, I don't want to sound like I am a doomsayer, but man, I just knew that kick in the teeth was coming. Except it wasn't my teeth, it was my shin courtesy of a surfboard with flailing arms and legs that looked suspiciously like my daughter. Far out. Fresh into the new term and I have borne the brunt of some rather spectacular hangry meltdowns outside the school gates two days in a row. Character-building stuff. But, please, for the love of my shins, let there not be a third time. Please.

Well, I didn't say it was a good flow-chart, but hopefully it gets my point across.

Having been so well-behaved for six hours, she just could not muster another 10 minutes of doe-eyed goodness. We only live about 50 metres away from the school, and she simply decided that was about 49 metres too far to walk. I could feel the judgey eyes of parents on me as I disciplined my child for hurting me (albeit accidentally), and guess what? It did not bother me at all. People can assume all they want about my parenting abilities; the bottom line is I have been tested far too many times to actually care what other people may think of me. Maybe I am just jaded from nine years of parenting, or maybe it can be put down to my star sign (sure, why not?), but if you mess with the bull, eventually you're gonna get the horns.

So we made it home finally, with only a few fence posts being apportioned some child rage at the injustice of the world and it was off to her room to calm down before she could join the rest of us for some afternoon tea. I wonder if martial arts are in her future? I should look into some lessons.

Now, my clearly amazing parenting skill-set and ability to handle pain aside, I've been thinking about the best way to handle a child whose temperament makes it much harder for them to deal with frustration and contain emotion. The key is to stop a tantrum before it gets started. So, this afternoon, I am going in prepared. There will be a small conciliatory bag of snacks ready to offer on that obviously exceedingly taxing 50 metre walk home. I could be setting myself up for more calamity because naturally, they will not be the right kind of snacks. I have completely scaled back after-school activities for this term and there will just be quiet time at home instead in preparation for the next school day.

So, if you see me on the school run today, smile, give me a wave and tell me I am doing a good job. I probably won't acknowledge your kind comment since I don't actually care what you think (remember??^^^), but inwardly I'll be crying tears of joy that at least someone is validating me on this thankless parenting journey.