Keeping it simple

I am scared of many things, some rational, others not so much. A non-exhaustive list for your viewing pleasure:

- spiders

- tsunami

- skinny jeans

- snakes

- Donatella Versace

- hot yoga
- NZ Idol

Parenting is scary sometimes too. Wouldn't it be nice to go back to being children and leave all the tough decision-making to someone else?

Life can be hard, people - and for some of us, life is hard all of the time (relatively-speaking, we have it easier than most; there's two of us sharing the load and our children are all healthy, I'm just painting a picture here for you). There are so many pressures. The difference is that some parents are just better at hiding that pressure more than others. Even the ones who look like they've got it all together. It's all a front. They really don't. Isn't that a comforting thought? By becoming parents, we automatically increase that propensity to worry about whether we are making the right decisions in life because we are no longer responsible for just ourselves but for the lives of these little humans as well. What if we screw it all up for them? Will any bad decision mean their lives change irrevocably or worse, they will be forced to live at home with us forever??!

Unlikely.

What I keep telling myself is that it pays not to overthink things. Simplified, parenting is 92% following your instinct, 5% feigned interest in your child's friends/activities/academic ability, 3% beer and wine. It's a walk in the park, really. It also helps to have siblings and friends who have already traveled a bit further along the parenting path to call on for advice.

Honestly, if I have done my job properly at all, my children will want to leave the family home. I hope that when that time comes, they will know that even if they didn't attend the most expensive schools or have private tuition for every single extra-curricular activity that all their friends are having, that they are still talented people with all the potential in the world. They may not get the latest gadgets just because or take overseas family holidays but they will know that, if they so choose, they still have just as much opportunity to do these things on their own later in life by working hard and saving for them. I hope that they will know that their mum and dad did the best they could to guide them and help them focus on the things that truly matter in life - family, friendship and treating others well. As we all are. Most of us. We're in this parenting thing together and we're all just trying to do what we think is best for our families. Sometimes, even though that path ahead may be unclear, we just need a little bit of faith that everything will all work out in the end.